I received this email from my mother-in-law the other day. It's just too good to not share.
As many of you all are aware, we are spending a little time in sunny Florida.......yea, right.....it's so friggin' cold here even the Canadians have put on sweaters with their shorts. Mike and I are bundeled up like eskimos and they're up at the outdoor pool swimming laps! 'Ya gotta love our polar bear friends from up north!
Went and played Bingo tonight.....OMG, I'm becoming my mother! Actually, lots of old people there who could have been my mother.......she's dead and me thinks 98% of them were, too. It was fun, in spite of the fact they had to repeat the numbers several times for those who couldn't hear and those who couldn't see the board that posts the called numbers. Ah, you gotta love the life here in blue hair land. One other thing about being down this way: I went to Publix (grocery store) the other day and within a 45-minute period, my cart was "stolen" twice. The first time, I was in the produce depart, feeling up the cucumbers (the biggest sexy thrill I've had in a long time), turned around and the cart was gone. Looked around and sure enough there it was, three rows over and some "little" old lady (the top of her head came up to the handle) was pushing my cart with my eggs, milk and 4-pack of toilet paper. I went over to her and very nicely said, " Excuse me, Ma'am, but I think you've got my cart". I guess that was nicer than what I really wanted to say: "listen, b****.......the toilet paper is not your adult diapers so hand over the cart before I steal your bedroom slippers right off your feet!" The second time my cart was MIA was when I saw "George Washington" rummaging through the contents of my cart (well, not really George.....but he sure did look like he could be that old). Anyway, when I heard him yell, "Dammit, Ethel if you don't find those rubber things in my cart, it's going to be a "no go" for you tonight", I knew I had to step in before he broke my eggs and started playing with my cucumbers. When he wasn't looking, I snatched it and drove off. I looked back and he was sniffing a bag of kitty litter.
Well, I'd best hit the hay as I've got a busy day tomorrow: I'vegot to go get some more band-aids to repair the wound I got on the back of my heel when some sweet little lady didn't put the brakes on her cart in Kohl's department store while in the check-out aisle...........gotta get "repaired" before I head off to shuffleboard!
Take care; I'll write another chapter soon.......that's assuming I remember who you are!
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